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Dottie's Coffee Lounge serving artisan coffee roasted by Barrington Coffee Roasting Company - Breakfast lunch & dinner with the freshest local ingredients.

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Time Flies....

It's been over 10 days since my last post and it feels like, maybe 3!

Our house is being spruced up- Paint/Crown Molding/ Chair rail and even a window looking out from our kitchen into our living room. The energy is definitely flowin' round here!

My second Father, Ed, offered to do some work to the house as a wedding gift for Matt and I. I was thrilled at the offer because, as much as I love our house- and the fact that nothing HAS to be done to it, it's been driving me a little crazy- these white walls and squared/characterless rooms! Also, knowing that I'm going to be spending more and more time in my home once baby Lamb comes, it is a blessing that I will have a super comfortable and fresh living space. This is nesting on a whole other level!

It's been an amazing experience to be on the receiving end of Ed's work. He does a great job and has a great eye- but he also is a great listener. He hasn't tried to talk me out of anything- or pushed his taste or opinion on Matt or I. I probably shouldn't be surprised at this, but I am! What I'm really impressed with, is his ability to separate his personal and professional opinions. I could definitely learn a thing or two from him, on this topic alone!

Ed has always been an incredibly hard working man. He definitely showed me that hard work pays off not only by example but by setting high standards- which at a younger age, seemed unfair, cruel and unreasonalble. Now, as an adult, I can really appreciate it- but it makes me wonder: Why is it so hard for kids to hear what their parents are saying?

Is it possible to communicate to your kids and have them- not only hear you- but understand you?

What is wrong with our culture, that elders have not pull anymore?

Advice is welcome! Be well and stay warm! Its an icy day out there!

This is a picture of my Mom and Ed from our Wedding Day!

coffee nerd

A quite enjoyable day at work, it was. Today I met our newest barista to open the cafe. While I set  up the kitchen and baked the good, he prepared for his bar test.

To make drinks at the cafe you must pass a bar test. This means you have to prepare a series of drinks that are judged on espresso extraction, steaming/foaming of milk, presentation and speed. It proves to us that you are capable of preparing consistently delicious drinks. It also proves that you've learned something and that you take your job seriously. The entire training process takes about a month to a month in a half and ends at the passing of your bar exam.

The barista who passed today came to us with some previous experience. Today he said, "I want to go back and visit my previous coffee shop and teach them how to make a real macchiato and show them all the things they need to improve on" We then had a great conversation sharing stories about all the horrible things we were taught to do at other shops that completely ruin their coffee.

" We NEVER changed the grind. Actually, I think it was against the rules to change the it!"

"We never capped the coffee or rinsed the carafe between brews. The drip was horrible! No one who worked there drank the coffee... it was too bad!"

"The espresso grinder chamber would be AT LEAST 1/2 full- all of the time. We never ground to order- unless it was a mistake!"

"We had a tower of coffee filters stacked up with grinds in them, just waiting around to be brewed."

"We would re steam milk!"

This coffee nerd banter went on for a long time. It always gets me excited to talk about coffee and I appreciate the opportunity to share that passion with someone. In New York, where I caught what I call, the coffee bug, these conversation were frequent. Most of my friends worked in coffee and unlike here in The Berkshires, being a barista is a pretty cool, hip and honorable job- and baristas are passionate and want to talk shop!

My current goal for the shop is to help build a better, closer coffee community in The Berkshires. I feel that while Im home on maternity leave, that I will be able to create the bones of a Berkshire Barista Guild /Organization. We could sponsor barista events, barista jams, generate barista pride/community, build our coffee knowledge etc.

aaaah.... the possibilities!

Below is a picture of one of the beautiful lattes that our newest barista poured today. We geeked out a bit on ratemyrosetta.com- I think that's what inspired him!

living day

My close friends have probably  heard me say this before- When I was younger, I was always curious and interested in being pregnant and giving birth-- but not so much about the mothering post birth. It occurred to me today that I was indeed pregnant and checking something huge off of my "bucket list."

Now that Im 34 weeks pregnant, it's so much more real and amazing. It's like- this being has significant mass- she has a developing personality-- she is developing repetitive movements-- responding to touch, noise and focussed breath. I am getting to know this person and I couldn't be more honored or excited at doing so. As excited as I am to get to know her- Im equally as impressed with who she is, right now, inside of me.

Today we had an appointment with the midwife. Things seem to be going along as usual. We have an appointment in two weeks and after that we will go every week... that's how close we are! It's like this whole experience is on fast forward and I just figured out how to enjoy it. I guess you know your really freakin' happy when your average daily life feels MORE like  joy filled moment speeding past your wonder filled eyes. It's like when Christmas comes and goes in a blink of an eye when your a little kid... except in this case you don't wake up disappointed that the big day came and went, but more-so grateful that you get to spend another day alive.

That being said- I want to dedicate this post to my stepfather, Ed's mother- Anne Vella. She passed this year and I recently found some photos of her from last Christmas. I was overwhelmed with joy when I saw her face staring back at me... it was like she paid me a visit to remind me to love and cherish every moment of life. May you rest in peace as beautifully as you lived.

*disregard the date stamped on the picture. It should read Thanksgiving, 2010

Onwards and Upwards!

Starting February 1st, my plan is to stop working. (Due date: February 27th)

This means the cafe I've been at, almost daily, for the past 3.5 years will be left in the hands of it's workers and customers. To be completely honest, I feel really good about leaving- but Id be crazy not to be nervous- just a little. 

My worries are not weather or not the staff is qualified to do the job, but that the amount of work will be overwhelming for them. I mean- there is  a lot to think about, do and keep track of! The hope is that things will flow smoother in my absence because the communication will be better- my mommy mush brain will not be at fault for unordered items, missing invoices, late deposits, lack of small bills and change and much much  more. The big question is- can someone who doesn't own the business still have fun and enjoy work while executing all the daily duties?

My answer: YES!!!

Our employees will feel empowered by the trust given to them to sail this ship alone.  They will feel good that I believe in their collective ability to run the "show." They will collectively work and collectively grow into a confident and indestructible force... I know that without me- they can accomplish more, more efficiently.

Onwards and upwards!

Sunday Blues

There is something very depressing about working on a slow slow slow day. Never mind being the owner, and knowing that only a miracle will get you to your break even number...

The cafe is empty except for two people. One is drinking a small vanilla skim latte and the other a large skim mocha. I hate skim milk and when people order it.

The stereo plays Taj Mahal Radio on Pandora. This music makes the cafe feel lively and fun... except for the fact Im practically all alone in here... that's neither fun nor lively.

My Mom,  Second Dad and brother Jared just came in. They're on their way to Albany airport because today Jared takes off for Spain! It was a tough goodbye. My mom bought a bag of coffee... I think she felt bad that the cafe was so dead. Thanks, Mom. I do appreciate it. Buen viaje, hermano.

A new customer came in-
Do you have flavored coffee.
No, Miss- we do not brew artificially flavored coffee but you can add a flavored syrup if you'd like.
No, I don't like flavored syrups.

This blog ends here.

Bigger is better!

Every week I grow into a new level of excitement- both physically and mentally. With every foot in the rib,  punch in the bladder, thump on the cervix I fall more in love with my little baby. The closer I get to actually meeting this baby (only 6 more weeks!) the more Im reminded of another creation of mine.

When I was 22, I got pregnant. I made the decision to terminate the pregnancy, as I was too young and in way too complicated of a relationship to even think about keeping it. I don't know if I was just really good at coping or too distracted to deal- but having an abortion then didn't really effect me- until now.

Like I mentioned, the bigger I get- the more I feel and the more I get to know this little spirit. The thought that there is a missing person from my life- one that I never got to feel, never got to grow and nourish, never got to meet and will never know in any way- has suddenly become a tearful reality. Someone told me, or maybe I read it somewhere- that the spirit of a being never dies- that it lives within you and gets woven into the being who comes next. In some ways I find this comforting. It's healing to think of being able to connect again with the past through my future.

Just another reason to be excited.

I want to thank my husband, Matt, for giving me the opportunity to love myself, unconditionally- for he is a great teacher of what REALLY matters in life.

fresh start

The snow is falling heavily all around the beautiful Berkshires right now. I can't help but appreciate the beauty and magic that a fresh snow fall brings. The intricate structure of a snow flake. The fresh brightness blanketing everything outdoors. The slow moving pace of everyday chores. The youthfulness of a good old fashioned snow day. It's just plain special.

Such blizzardy conditions also send me into a  day dream state about the "olden days." How they must survive such cold temperatures, relentless work without the comforts of machinery and the danger animals/livestock may face. Luckily it's just a day dream- as I am sitting in front of a fiery wood burning stove.

Yesterday I woke up to a beautiful sunrise and prepared for my yoga practice. I decided recently that in order to be prepared as possible for my birth, I ought to start opening my hips... as well as other things.  When I moved back to the Berkshires in 2007, I tried to restart my  practice at the Yoga studio next door to Dottie's, but the stress of running a cafe and my unpredictable schedule got in the way. Yesterday was an inspiring homecoming to something I've needed for my mind and body and of course, spirit.

I like to think that the this fresh start is the beginning of a lifelong change and commitment to taking care of myself. I believe that the physical commitment to my yoga practice will help keep my emotional growth on a steady upwards motion. With every move I make these days, I feel more and more excited to bring my little baby girl into this world. Thanks you to everyone who helps me move closer to my goals. I appreciate you openness and proximity to my life.

open heart

I woke up at 8 to prepare for a ride to Boston with my older, little brother, Jared. He had to go to the Spanish Consulate to pick up his student visa for his semester abroad in Seville, Spain. He leaves in a week for four months.

It took us about 2 hours from one end of the MassPike to the other. I shared stories about my experiences abroad in The Netherlands back in 2000. It was fun to recall all the different places I visited... prague, copenhagen, paris, barcelona, seville, rotterdam, amsterdam, neimeigen, weil, florence, kolon... and maybe some others that I very well may have forgotten. It's so touching to me that my little brother, although we're not super close, has picked up on some of my loves- travel and the Spanish language. The more I shared with him the more confident I became that I will be a great Mom- something that recently I've questioned constantly.

While Jared is gone experiencing Europe, we are both going to miss out on major milestones in each others lives. He will miss the birth of my daughter and I will miss his 21st birthday. Jared asked many questions about the development of babies.. how soon do they crawl? why do older kids need car seats? He said he had never held a new baby, except for our littlest brother when he was four years old. His interest in my baby, his niece, meant so much to me. I can't wait to see the two of them together. Im so grateful for the time we got to spend together today- and wish him the greatest of luck in his travels.

Once I got home, I drank a glass of water and hopped back in the car. Matt and headed off to meet my  Dad, my second mother, sister and niece for dinner. We had a great time chatting and playing with little Harper. I was honored to feel the blessings that came today from being able to spend time with both of my families.

I've had a hard time in the past opening my heart to the ones that love me- which has left me unpredictable, distant and lonely in most of my relationships- professional, romantic and platonic. I've been working hard the past moth to expose my funny little heart.  Im happy to report, the more I open my heart, the more love that seeps in. I appreciate the opportunity to grow this part of my being and to share it and teach it to my little girl. It feels good to see and feel myself growing closer to a more emotionally stable and compassionate being.

It feels good to hug- to smile- to trust and to just be. I thank the universe for allowing me to awaken to the power that I have to change what I have believed in the past, I could not. I am happy for everyone who has made strides like this in their own lives and thank you for placing that strength into the universe for others like me to harness. May we all feel this power more often in the new year.

Mixing business and pleasure

Today is a perfect example of a struggle between running a business and taking care of the ones you love.

This morning I made the very weighty executive decision to put a sign on the door of my cafe that read "Dottie's will be closed today. We apologize for any inconvenience . Don't worry. Be happy. We will reopen tomorrow at 7am."

The shift, (there is only one person on Sundays)  was originally assigned to a barista of ours who is still completing training and who is also trying to figure out funeral plans for a tragic and sudden death in his family. Lord knows there is room for compassion here- even from me, an occasionally self absorbed, professional worry wort. Fortunately, or so I thought, I was able to get the shift covered by someone else.

This someone else came down with a stomach bug last night. Violent vomiting with blood. Again- compassion arises... What's happening to me?

This leaves me: a woman with slight waddle, slightly swollen ankles and legs, slightly under-slept and seven and a half months pregnant to open and close the cafe, without a dishwasher on a Sunday- a day that we ALWAYS lose money because of low volume. And the most significant part or all- a dear friend, who drove out from Brooklyn, New York yesterday, is here to visit me and straighten out some friendship blues.

So here lies the challenge- abandon my friend, who's here to work on our long distance friendship for the Cafe? OR, Abandon the loyal and precious customers for my own selfish, yet valuable reasons?

Since I've gotten pregnant, it's become increasingly important for me to fine tune my relationships and emotional problems (YES, I HAVE EMOTIONAL PROBLEMS) and to worry less about my business- as the amount I worry has proven to be no help, one way or another. It is situations like the one described above that rip, tear and destroy my ability to make the right decision. Today however, I have easily made the right decision.

 I will not let business/money outweigh love and friendship- I simply can't afford to do so.

So, Denyse, where should we go for coffee?

For my Sister

After much hesitation, my sister started a blog this week. She had been talking about it for months- worrying that her voice or writing wasn't strong or captivating enough. I encouraged her, believing that everything she has to say holds great worth and importance. She recently had a beautiful baby girl, Harper Lynne on March 15 2010. Jordan's life changed the moment she got pregnant and from a distance I've admired and cherished it. Watching her grow into an amazing Mom in such a short amount of time and seeing how being pregnant changed her perspective on life inspired me to have a baby too.

In continuation of following in Jordan's footsteps, I decided to move forward with blogging myself. I've owned my own cafe since August 27th, 2007  and always thought having a blog to share the experiences that happen here, in front of and behind the counter, would be so cathartic. Located in a small small city, where people are gossip obsessed and inadvertently in your shit all of the time, I figured it would have a good following. Not to mention, I do have a degree in Print Journalism that has NEVER been used- which I will prove to you with my less than accurate grammar, punctuation and run-on sentences. Poor writing aside, I hope my experiences in life, learning how to Mother, Wife and Own a business help you laugh at yourself- which I try to do often.