Aaaaah Esme. I started this blog to focus on the most interesting things in my life: Dottie's and being pregnant with you. I started it late in my pregnancy, which I always regretted because there were many times I had interesting thoughts or experiences while getting to know you in utero. As you will come to learn, I have a a very unpredictable memory and have forgotten a lot of details about our experience, of which I wish I didn't. So today, Im writing your birth story.
Its important to start out by telling you that your due date was the 27th of February. This is also the birthday of your Gigi and her nephue Harry. I thought it would be cool if you were born on this day, but I was routing for earlier than that, being so big and pregnant and all. At the very beginning I was hoping that you would go deep into March- and be an Aries like me! But as the months passed I became increasingly committed to getting you here in the mont of February for two reasons, other than my physical challenges.
I read a lot of birth stories while I was pregnant with you, and they gave me a lot of insight on how to get labor going. I was determined to get you here in February for two very somewhat significant reasons... 1) Birthstone, Amethyst WAY better than Aqua Marine and 2) The graphic of the ffrench family's Dolphin Studio Calendar for the moth of February- which I wanted desperately to frame and put in your room. The month of February is silkscreen of owls done in all purples ( like your nursery). Its so pretty and March- well March is a Leprechauns hat, which isn't bad but it's certainly not perfect for you!
Now, on Friday morning, the 25th of February I woke up late. I woke up late, like I had gotten in the habit of doing since I stopped working the second week of that month. It was probably somewhere around 9 am, I cant remember what I was doing but I soon enough I started feeling contractions. I wasnt sure they were contractions for a good 1/2 hour or so, and then I started timing them. I was so excited to tell your Dad! When I did he was filled with excitement.
Throughout this whole pregnancy I had been saying... "I want to wait till the last possible momemnt to go to the hospital. I dont want to be stuck in an unfamiliar place waiting to give birth. I want to show up, push her out and be on with it. No messing around." With this plan in the back of my head, I tried to keep it casual. Around 10:30 or 11 the doorbell rang.
I answered the door to Big Tony! We hadn't seen each other in MONTHS and I was so happy to see him. Finally, he said, "Your FAT, like a pregnant woman should be!" I had it pretty easy, for a pregnant lady. I didnt gain too much weight and didn't really get uncomfortable until month 8 and 9. I was worried that Big Tony wouldn't see me before you came- and I really wanted him to. I loved being big and pregnant, it was like some sort of freak show- but in the most amazing way. I was carrying a human around inside of me- that's pretty freaky and amazing- don't you think?!
When we told Big Tony that I was having contractions- he started to get excited too. It made him nervous that I was in pain- but the pain wasn't too bad at all. I was just glowing with excitement and he thought that I was crazy! I had been looking forward to finally experiencing labor and what contractions felt like. I was so ready and so excited... but, trying to keep it casual.
So around 5:30 we casually left the house after your Dad got home form the super market. I sent him to get some things, which I can only remember one of now. Depends. Adult diapers. A friend of mine said, get Depends. She said it's a messy experience and that if I have Depends, I will be prepared. So Depends we got. Size Large.
I called the midwife, Linda as I was waiting in the side parking lot out side of Dottie's. I told her about my contractins that started that morning. She asked me to describe them and then told me to hold off a bit longer and call her later when either my water breaks or when the contractions are so strong you can't talk. She knew I didnt want to watste my time at the hospital, and I doubt she did either.
We ran to the bank to make the final deposit for Dottie's and then headed to Guidos. We stopped at the market to get some food for the next day or so at the hospital. We didn't want to go without and also didnt want to be limited to eating hospital cafeteria food. While we were there we ran into our friend Mikey who works in the deli part of Guidos. We talked for while about his wedding and his fiance and her kids. We talked about our wedding and the fact that I was in labor at that time.. It was all so surreal and amazing.
We left and got in the car and headed further down rt 7. We wanted to take our time getting to Great Barrington so we stopped in Lenox to see our friend Laura at Firefly. I think I had to pee, which prompted the stop. No more than a half hour later we continued our journey south. We arrived in Great Barrington and decided to have dinner. We at a great meal at Bizen. I splurged on sushi, miso soup and steamed greens salad. The contractions were pretty bad at this point. I couldn't really focus on what your Daddy was saying. I squeezed his hand from across the table. We thought it was so cool that no one in there knew what an exciting time this was for us. We paid our bill and walked up and down railroad street.
Eventually we checked into the hospital around 8:30. We called Cappie and Shi-shi, Gramma Band Poppa to let them know where were officially there. It was a Friday night and all of your grandparents were busy working or out enjoying the weekend. Cappie and Shi-shi hopped in the car and headed to us ASAP.
They arrived around 11. I was bouncing on the yoga ball and doing my best to enjoy their company and be patient. They left around midnight so I could get some sleep. I started doing some squats and next thing I knew, my water had broken.
We informed the nurses and they checked my dilation. Unfortunately there was not much progress so they didnt call Linda, the midwife, to the hospital. It was a slow process and the pain just kept getting worse and worse. By the time morning came, I hadn't slept and your dad barely had.
The pain was excruciating and I was concerned that progress wasn't happening as fast as "it should". They checked my dilation again and reported a small increase. They asked if I wanted an epidural and some pitocin. Two things that help get things moving. Although we were against it until that time, we opted to go for it. We just wanted to get you in our arms and we had so much family waiting! By this moment Gramma B, Gramma and Grampa Lamb, Uncle Dan, Cappie and Shi-shi were all there waiting for your arrival. So we took the shorter road and got the injections.
Daddy went for a ride out side to get some fresh air and I was left to rest. I couldn't sleep but the calmness was nice. My body flooded with warmth and comfort and I laughed to myself that I was against these drugs. It felt GREAT!
Eventually the contractions got more and more intense and it was time to push. It took a lot of work to get you out but Gramma B and Daddy did an amazing job supporting me and you. You were born at 7:27pm on the 26 of February and you were 8 pounds and 10 ounces of love. You were snorting like a piggy when you came out and you had a full head of hair. You were read and sweet and they laid you right on my chest. It was the best moment of my life. I said "It was so worth it", and it was.
Thank you for my life. You bring so much joy to me and your dad. You keep us laughing and inspired. You are so smart, funny and entertaining. At this moment you are patting my back saying "come, mommy. come!", you are holding a tea cup and saucer. It's time for a party!
